socialization

055. Navigating Technology, Social Media, and Gaming in High School

Navigating Technology, Social Media, and Gaming in High School

Episode 055:

Are you just starting your homeschooling journey? We’re here to help! Begin with our Get Started in Homeschooling page and Homeschooling FAQ to make the transition smoother. If you’re guiding a young child, explore our How to Homeschool Kindergarten. to make those first steps special. For middle schoolers, don’t miss our Middle School page packed with tips and advice. And if you’re heading into the high school years, our Essential Steps to Homeschool High School will guide you every step of the way!

Show Notes

We’re uncovering the ever-evolving intersection of homeschooling and the tech-savvy generation, shedding light on how these young learners harness the power of the digital realm for growth, connection, and self-discovery.

Our digital landscape is rapidly evolving and whether we like it or not, technology, social media, and gaming have become huge parts of the lives of our kids – especially teenagers. With the rise of smartphones, social networking platforms, and increasingly sophisticated video games, teens find themselves navigating a complex and dynamic intersection of virtual and real-world experiences.  If your kids are like ours, they probably know and understand way more than you do about modern-day tech!

If you’re new to homeschooling high school, be sure to check out the Essential Steps to Homeschool High School. This episode is part of our High School series, offering expert advice, comprehensive documentation, and resources like Free Transcript Templates to help you stay organized.

12 Steps to Homeschooling High School

The use of technology, the influence of social media, and the allure of gaming significantly shape the lives of our children. Especially during the teen years! These social, educational, and recreational dimensions of their life offer both opportunities and challenges. This age of modern connectivity is reshaping the way they communicate, learn, and unwind, and can even blur the boundaries between the physical and digital realms.  Every family is going to have different rules of how all of this technology is introduced, but many kids get their start online with various apps and games and that only grows as they get older.

Teenagers often find connection in online gaming. We all know that homeschooling is a big timesaver over a more traditional school with more flexibility in their schedule, allowing them more time to explore their favorite virtual realms. When our kids were younger, Game Ed Academy was Homeschooling with Minecraft.

We talk all the time about hands-on learning, being present, and how many opportunities our kids get to socialize in person because they literally have more hours in their day. But online gaming can also foster social interactions, teamwork, and problem-solving skills. Through digital adventures, homeschooled teens can find a sense of camaraderie and shared experiences, cultivating a diverse group of friends who share their passion for gaming. 

Felicia Day book, “You’re Never Weird on the Internet” and her unique life as a homeschooler gave her a lot of opportunities to explore her interest in gaming and the tech world.

Striking a balance and intersecting homeschooling and online gaming showcases how technology can enhance the social and educational experiences of today’s teens. It can supplement what you’re already providing for them and create additional avenues for personal growth and connection. 

How To Approach Using Technology in Your Homeschool (9:35)

Balance

Find a healthy balance between screen time and other activities to ensure that technology doesn’t consume the entire day. Remember, this episode is for our highschoolers and in a couple years, they’re going to be off on their own. It’s our job to teach them effective time management skills to find balance in their academic work, social life, and online activities. Hopefully this is something you’ve been working on all along, but if not, start teaching them balance and good habits now. 

Online Safety

Be mindful of sharing personal information online, and use strong, unique passwords to protect your accounts.

The whirlwind of social media, online dating, and mobile apps can make life a dream—or a nightmare. For every trustworthy website, there are countless jerks, bullies, and scam artists who want to harvest your personal information for their own purposes. But you can fight back, right now. Even if your privacy has already been compromised, don’t panic. It’s not too late to take control. Let
The Smart Girl’s Guide to Privacy help you cut through the confusion and start protecting your online life.

Privacy Settings: Familiarize yourself with the privacy settings on social media platforms and gaming accounts to control who can access your information. Some apps have location sharing, so be sure you stay on top of that and don’t blindly approve platforms you’re unfamiliar with.

Digital Footprint: It’s important that teens recognize that their online actions leave a digital footprint that can impact their future, such as college admissions or job opportunities. 

Content Evaluation: Be critical of the content you consume online and in games to ensure it aligns with your values and doesn’t promote harmful behavior. 

Media Literacy: teach them the ability to discern credible information from fake news and be aware of the potential for manipulation on the internet. 

Healthy Relationships: Use technology and social media to foster positive, real-world relationships, rather than just substituting them with virtual connections. 

Cyberbullying: Understand the potential risks of cyberbullying and how to respond if you or someone you know experiences it. And at this age, it may seem like they aren’t listening, but I promise that they are so don’t stop guiding them because you don’t think they’re listening.  They are!

Social Dilemma

By considering all of these factors, homeschooled teenagers can make informed and responsible choices regarding their use of technology, social media, and gaming.

How To Use Technology in Your Homeschool (16:55)

Integrating technology into a homeschool high school is almost a must in today’s world. It can really enrich your academic experience. Utilizing digital resources can enhance the learning process by offering access to a vast array of educational materials, from virtual laboratories for science experiments to multimedia resources for history and language arts. Technology also facilitates personalized learning, allowing homeschooled high school students to have tailored curriculum according to their individual needs, interests, and accommodating their learning style and pace. It can also foster self-discipline and responsibility as teens manage their assignments, schedules, and research independently, which are essential skills for success in college and the workforce. 

Exactly, also our highschoolers taking dual enrollment courses in person and our college students taking classes in person at their universities requires them to also be online for exams, discussion boards, and other assignments. It’s essential that they learn to navigate these things. So, if you’re one of those hold-outs on technology, you may want to reconsider all the skills that they are not learning that they will need. 

So let’s talk about how our homeschool highschoolers can effectively use technology as a valuable tool in their homeschooling:

Online Resources: Access educational websites, digital textbooks, and online courses to supplement their learning.

Virtual Classes: Participate in virtual classes and webinars to learn from expert instructors or connect with other homeschooled students. Khan Academy.

Outschool: Outschool offers variety of classes and over 100,000 Interactive Online Classes for every age group from 3 to 18 years.

Outschool is an education platform that connects teachers of any subject with students around the world for a variety of engaging small-group classes online.  It gives kids the opportunity to explore their interests via interactive, live video by experienced, independent educators. Outschool offers variety of classes and over 100,000 Interactive Online Classes for every age group from 3 to 18 years. Find one for you:

  • Arts – Drawing, photography, dance, Theatre, Film, Sewing
  • Coding & Tech – Coding, Video Game Design, Robotics, Engineering, Internet Safety, Animation
  • English – Creative Writing, Grammar, Spelling, Book Club, Essay Writing, Poetry, Literature
  • Health & Wellness – Hygiene, Emotions, Exercise, Mindfulness, Nutrition
  • Life Skills – Cooking, Financial Skills, Study Skills, Social Skills, Critical Thinking
  • Math – Elementary math, Algebra, Numbers, Geometry, Fractions, Calculus, Statistics, Probability
  • Music – Guitar, Piano, Singing, Composers, Music Theory, Composing, Recording
  • Science & Nature – Chemistry, Biology, Zoology, Physics, Astronomy, Anatomy, Marine Biology, Psychology
  • Social Studies – Geography, World History, American History, Anthropology, Economics, Politics
  • World Languages – Spanish, American Sign Language, French, Japanese, Latin, German, Chinese, Greek, Italian, Mandarin

E-Libraries: Utilize digital libraries and e-books to access a wide range of reading materials and resources. Libby, Hoopla, Overdrive are all great sites for getting library books. If you are in a rural area with limited selections or struggling with access to banned books you can get access by using other libraries- New York City, Broward County. 

Educational Apps: Explore educational apps that cover a wide range of subjects, making learning engaging and interactive.  

Research: Your teenagers can use the internet for research. Long gone is the card catalog, this is where the research now happens. Although I did teach my kids how to use a card catalog. The Internet has vast amounts of information for research papers, projects, and assignments. One of my favorite resources is the Internet Archive. It’s completely free and available to everyone and has so many resources. It literally has everything and it’s a great place for your kids to access things you thought were long gone. You can also check out the Virtural Card Catalog or Britannica Online.

Collaboration: Collaborate with peers on group projects using online collaboration tools and video conferencing platforms. We are all experts in zoom now, thanks to covid.  Google docs is something I used with my Future City and GEMUN groups for writing a collaborative essay.

Digital Note-Taking: Use note-taking apps and tools to organize and store class notes and assignments. My kids also use shared google docs for notetaking with classmates. 

Learning Management Systems: Some homeschooling programs use learning management systems (LMS) to deliver and manage coursework. Google Classroom, Blackboard, Bright space, canvas are all examples.

STEM Resources: Access online resources and simulations for science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) subjects. Here are some Online Dissection Resources.

Language Learning: Use language-learning apps and websites to study foreign languages. Having pronunciation built in is brilliant! Duolingo and Mango are favorites.

Coding and Programming: Learn coding and programming skills through online courses and coding platforms. Khan Academy has a lot of resources for free including Hour of Code. MIT has their free software to help teach kids how to program called Scratch. You can also get a lot of these directly from your local library. A lot of them have subscriptions that you just need your library card to login and your account is paid for.

Virtual Field Trips: Take virtual field trips to museums, historical sites, and other locations around the world. Another great thing that came out of covid was access to museum sites. I also always recommend sites, like the Dallas Human Rights museum, for educational resources. Museums and other educational sites always have tons of resources listed for educators, often these include lesson plans or are categorized by age or grade level. I mentioned in a recent episode that I was hanging out online at the Louvre in Paris. I also love wildlife cams. Visit Museums Virtually Online.

Discover a world of wonders without leaving your home! Explore the 30 most captivating online museums

Online Tutors: Seek help from online tutors or educators when needed for specific subjects or topics. 

Digital Portfolios: Create digital portfolios to showcase their work and accomplishments.

Presentations: After high schoolers finish a unit study, we typically think of a research paper to wrap it up. But you can get really creative with this. They can create a digital presentation with PowerPoint or another presentation software or they could even create a blog, a website, or a podcast in lieu of a traditional research paper. 

Time Management Tools: Utilize time management apps and tools to help balance their academic schedule. We both love checklists and things like Trello and Time Finder. The key is to find something that works for your teenager that they are happy to use. They may not use what works best for you. If it’s an app, you may want to also login with the same ID or use a shared app so you can communicate assignment completion that way. Many highschoolers are doing more and more of their own time management. We’re starting to hand off the torch with guidance, of course. 

Those are just some of the cool things tech can offer your homeschool.  Obviously, homeschooled teens should work with their parents to ensure they are using technology in a balanced and responsible manner so keep communicating with them and make sure expectations are clear to everyone.  But don’t be afraid of using technology!  Take advantage of the educational opportunities it offers while managing screen time and online safety. 

Do teenagers need social media? (29:06)

Social media can have both positive and negative impacts on homeschooled teens. On the positive side, social media platforms provide them with opportunities for social interaction and community building. Many teens use social media to connect with peers. It may be friendships, shared hobbies, or even study groups. This can help combat feelings of isolation and ensure that they have a support system in place, even outside of traditional school.  Additionally, social media offers a vast repository of educational resources, like some that we addressed and even educational communities where homeschooled teens can exchange knowledge and seek guidance. These platforms can help teens explore their interests, discover new subjects or hobbies, and even connect with mentors or experts in various fields.

This book written FOR teens on digital citizenship. The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices will help you navigate the digital world with 21 refreshingly honest and humorous tips that will not only inform, but that also just might change the way you think about your social media interaction.

However, the negative aspects of social media really need to be considered. We all know now that excessive use of social media can lead to distractions from responsibilities and impact their academic performance. Cyberbullying and exposure to inappropriate content are other significant concerns. And we all know that social media can create unrealistic comparisons and peer pressure. That can contribute to mental health issues like anxiety and depression. It’s important for parents and teenagers to strike a balance between the benefits and drawbacks of social media, ensuring it is used as a tool for learning, connection, and personal growth while being mindful of its potential pitfalls.

With all of that in consideration, homeschooled teenagers, like their peers in traditional school settings, are going to use social media for a variety of purposes.  For one, social media platforms help them stay in touch with friends and make new connections, combating potential isolation. We’ve moved a lot, but this has allowed us to stay friends.  We also regularly use SM in the sport my kids do. 

Homeschoolers can also participate in virtual clubs and interest-based groups through social media. You can also use it as a platform for showcasing talents, whether in music, art, or other creative pursuits. My 16yo son, Cameron, is a musician and teaches guitar lessons. We built a website for him, but he also has a Facebook and YouTube page where he promotes his music. He also wrote the BTDT Homeschool jingle!

Some homeschool teens use platforms like Pinterest, TikTok, or Instagram to learn new skills, such as cooking, art, or coding.  They may use social media to access educational content, connect with online tutors, or join study groups. We also have a good friend’s teenage daughter those crochets little stuffed animals and has a successful Etsy shop.

They may use social media to stay updated on current events, news, and trends. Some use social media to advocate for causes they’re passionate about or to raise awareness of issues they care about. You just might want to stay away from the comment section. 

Homeschooled teens often seek advice, resources, and support from online communities of homeschooling families and educators just like parents do.  We are on Facebook- but a lot of them aren’t!  But they use other sites just like we do.

Social media can provide an outlet for self-expression through posts, photos, and videos. Some find that negative- talk to your kids about how social media is often showcasing the highlight real and to be realistic about what they see. If you think social media is causing issues with self-esteem or jealousy, by all means restrict it. Sometimes we have to tell this to ourselves too. Especially as homeschoolers because these highlight reels can be really intimidating when everybody else’s kids are doing things that maybe our kids aren’t doing yet. It’s crucial for homeschooling parents and teens to approach technology use with care, finding a balance between the valuable connections and Learning opportunities it offers, while being mindful of the challenges of time management and online safety.

This Week’s Freebie:

Download your Guide to Online Gaming Safely

054. How Do Homeschoolers Transition from Elementary to Middle School?

How Do Homeschoolers Transition from Elementary to Middle School?

Middle school marks a time of intellectual and personal growth, where kids explore a broader range of subjects and develop critical thinking skills. In today’s episode, we’re talking about transitioning from elementary to middle school and how homeschooling offers a unique opportunity to tailor their learning experiences to their individual needs and interests. We’ll be exploring the advantages, strategies, and resources that will empower you in providing a rich and engaging education while nurturing your child’s love for learning and growing independence. 

Episode 054:

TWO WAYS TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE:
1. Click PLAY Button Above ^^ to listen here.
2. OR Listen on your favorite podcast platform:

Are you just starting your homeschooling journey? We’re here to help! Begin with our Get Started in Homeschooling page and Homeschooling FAQ to make the transition smoother. If you’re guiding a young child, explore our How to Homeschool Kindergarten. to make those first steps special. For middle schoolers, don’t miss our Middle School page packed with tips and advice. And if you’re heading into the high school years, our Essential Steps to Homeschool High School will guide you every step of the way!

Show Notes

We spend a lot of time here talking about our beginners and younger homeschoolers and then even more time focused on our high schoolers and getting them ready for college and beyond, but one group often gets left to the wayside in homeschool discussions, and that’s our middle schoolers!  They are the Jan of this Brady Bunch!

But meanwhile, homeschooling middle schoolers represents a dynamic phase in a child’s educational journey. Many parents realize at this age that traditional school does not fit their child and choose to withdraw and homeschool their child. If this is you, please take some time to check out our Deschooling page. Deschooling is an essential step to successfully homeschool after withdrawing your child and it will help reengage them and reignite their love for learning. And this step is not just for the kids, it’s an important step for the parents too. You’ll spend time reconnecting with your child and figuring out what kind of education you want to provide so if your kids are in an unhealthy environment, pull them out now and start this process. You don’t have to have it all figured out to begin.

Transitioning from elementary to middle school for homeschoolers is a significant step in a child’s educational journey. It marks a shift from more flexible, parent-led learning approaches to a more structured and diverse curriculum. 

How to transition from elementary school to middle school? (4:36)

Here are some key considerations and tips for a smooth transition:

Curriculum Transition

Now is a good time to evaluate your homeschooling curriculum and materials. Middle school typically introduces more or gets more in depth with subjects, such as science, history, and literature. And be sure to consider resources that align with your state’s educational standards. Look up your State’s Homeschool Law

You’ll want to choose age-appropriate materials. You may find that your student who thrived with read-alouds, may want to do more on their own, or that you need additional hands-on activities.  We always caution our younger families not to get too excited about curriculum early and buy ahead several years- what was great in elementary may not suit your family later.  

Planning and Scheduling

Create a clear plan and schedule. Establish daily routines and set realistic goals for academic progress. And this doesn’t have to be super rigid, but a little more structure in your schedule is going to help them develop time management skills.

how long does it take to homeschool

This doesn’t mean suddenly you need a 7-3 schedule.  Remember that homeschooling is still way more efficient, and you can get more done in a day, but you may want to just add in some more structure or increase your time. An average time a homeschool middle schooler spends on formal academics is 1-3 hrs. a day. If we have a big project we are working on, we tend to spend a little more towards 3 hrs., but can usually wrap up school in 1.5 hrs. 

Increase Independence

Encourage your child to take more ownership of their learning. Provide opportunities for them to plan and organize their assignments and study times. This is the age that I introduce the concept of notetaking, and if my kids are taking an outside class, I start to have them show me their notes and teach them how to review notes after class. Middle school is an ideal time for them to develop greater independence in their studies but gently guide them on forming good habits.  

How To Take Great Notes Quickly and Easily is a very easy guide for your middle schooler. (40+ Note Taking Tips for School, Work, Books and Lectures. Cornell Notes Explained and more!

Extracurricular Activities

Explore extracurricular options, such as sports, clubs, and community involvement. These activities can help your child develop social skills, find their interests, and make friends. I had a couple kids that still really liked park days at this age but also a couple that were ready for being dropped at a coffee shop while I took others to the park. Extracurricular Idea Guide.

Field Trips and Real-World Learning

Continue incorporating field trips and hands-on learning experiences. I love this age for field trips! Some of those field trips that your younger kids were too little for are perfect for this age. And these kids benefit from real-world applications of what they’re learning. 100 Homeschool Field Trip Ideas. Also, check out our favorite subscriptions to keep learning engaging.

Technology Integration

Introduce educational technology and digital resources. Middle schoolers may need to become proficient in using computers for research, online classes, and projects. Teach them to use Google docs, PowerPoint. and spreadsheets. A typing program may be handy too and a lot of middle schoolers like to get into gaming and programming, too. Scratch is an awesome free program from MIT.

Individual Learning Styles

Recognize that every child learns differently. Tailor your approach to accommodate their unique learning style and strengths, whether they are visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learners. This goes along with re-evaluating your curriculum that we mentioned above- make sure your choices grow with your child. What is Your Child’s Learning Style?

Communication and Support

Maintain open communication with them. They may have sought a lot of independence, but this is all new and sometimes that can create stress. Address any concerns or anxieties they may have about transitioning to middle school and more independence. Be available to provide guidance and support. 

Seeking Help When Needed

If you find certain subjects challenging to teach or if your child has specific educational needs, consider enlisting the help of tutors or specialized educational programs or outsourcing classes. We both have outsourced classes-math and science, writing classes on Outschool.

Socialization

Middle school is a time when children often crave more social interaction. Help them connect with friends with similar interests, values, and beliefs by arranging playdates, group activities, and co-op classes with other homeschoolers to build friendships. This is a time of great transition socially and all of these changes can either be nurtured or hindered by peers. Peer Pressure can even happen to homeschoolers, and it can be either positive or negative. In an effort to best handle social pressure, teach them to be assertive by speaking up and telling friends what they like/don’t like. Most homeschoolers don’t have a problem with this. Keep an open dialogue so they feel safe coming to you about situations that they don’t understand and/or that make them feel uncomfortable.

Our FREE download this week (bottom of this page) is a Guide for your tween to help encourage them to make friends and nurture those relationships. We usually make a resource for the homeschool parent but this one is to print out and hand it to your child to help encourage them. This age can be hard and awkward and lonely. Hopefully this resource will help them to reach out and be proactive in finding connections. 

Transitioning Gradually

If your child is apprehensive about the transition, consider a gradual approach, introducing the new middle school curriculum incrementally to ease the adjustment.

This transition from elementary to middle school can be a positive and exciting step in a homeschooler’s education. By being proactive in your approach, providing structure, and maintaining open communication, you can help them navigate this transition with confidence and success.

What academic skills are crucial for middle schoolers? (14:56)

Middle school is a critical stage in a student’s development, where they acquire a wide range of academic, social, and life skills. Below you will find some crucial skills for middle schoolers.

Academic Skills

  • Reading Comprehension: The ability to understand and analyze written text critically.
  • Math Proficiency: A solid foundation in math concepts, including arithmetic, algebra, and geometry.
  • Research Skills: The capacity to conduct research, evaluate sources, and cite information accurately.
  • Problem-Solving: The capability to identify and resolve complex problems effectively.
Achieving success in this more challenging world requires knowing many more words. 100 Words Every Middle Schooler Should Know helps Middle Schoolers to express themselves with distinction and get the most out of their education.
Prepare your child for middle school math with the Middle School Math Practice Workbook. This workbook provides children with comprehensive practice questions that cover a wide range of topics they will encounter in middle school.
The How to Write an Awesome Paragraph Step-by-Step workbook teaches your students how to write a strong paragraph using a foolproof step-by-step process. This book is particularly useful for struggling or special needs students who will welcome the explicit steps which they can re-use each time they need to write a paragraph. The visual supports and incremental practice also build confidence in a wide range of students.

Organization and Time Management

  • Time Management: The skill of managing time efficiently to balance academic work, extracurricular activities, and their personal life.
  • Organization: Keeping track of assignments, materials, and schedules. Also, check out our Top 15 Planner Strategies for Middle School

Critical Thinking

  • The ability to think critically, analyze information, and make informed decisions.
  • Logical Reasoning: The capacity to reason logically and draw valid conclusions.
The Thinking Toolbox is like a toolbox, full of different kinds of tools your child can use for different thinking tasks. Just as you use the wrench in a regular toolbox to fix the sink, so you can use the tools we give you in this book to solve thinking problems.

Communication Skills

  • Effective Writing: The capability to express thoughts and ideas clearly in written form.
  • Oral Communication: The skill of articulating ideas and speaking confidently.
  • Active Listening: The ability to listen and comprehend information during discussions and lectures.
Paragraphs for Middle School: A Sentence-Composing Approach gives students new tools to write mature and varied sentences through imitating models.

Research and Technology

  • Research skills, including online research, source evaluation, and effective use of digital tools.
  • Proficiency with technology, including word processing, spreadsheets, and presentation software.
  • Information Literacy: The ability to find, evaluate, and use information from various sources critically.

Social and Emotional Skills

Social & Emotional Learning has engaging lessons, strategies, and tips that help students develop self-awareness and manage social challenges so they can navigate middle school and focus on academics.
  • Empathy: The ability to understand and relate to the feelings of others.
  • Conflict Resolution: Skills for resolving disputes and conflicts peacefully.
  • Self-Awareness: Developing an understanding of one’s emotions and reactions.
  • Resilience: The capacity to bounce back from setbacks and adapt to challenges.
  • Cultural and Global Awareness: Developing an understanding of diverse cultures, perspectives, and global issues. We’ve used Universal Yums to do this for years.
Universal Yums has been a wonderful addition to our homeschool. My kids have learned so much about different regions and people from all over the world! Get a new country every month.

Study Skills

  • Effective study habits, including notetaking, summarization, and test preparation techniques.
  • Time management for studying and completing assignments.
Learning How to Learn has empowered more than two million learners from around the world to master subjects that they once struggled with. These learning strategies reveal how to make the most of time spent studying. This book is filled with illustrations, application questions, and exercises, this book makes learning easy and fun.

Teamwork and Collaboration

  • Working effectively with peers on group projects and in team-based activities. Future City Competition is one of our favorite Middle School group activity – you can win cash prizes!

Health and Wellness

  • Basic knowledge of nutrition, physical fitness, and mental health, as well as maintaining a healthy lifestyle. 
  • Promote a healthy lifestyle by encouraging physical activity, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep. Teach them about the importance of self-care and well-being. Learn more in Episode 051. Homeschool PE, Health, and Sex Ed. Download Free Fitness Dice!

Teaching and reinforcing these skills during the middle school years can significantly enhance a student’s academic success and overall development, preparing them for the challenges of high school and beyond.

How to care for tweens? (21:43)

Caring for tweens, who are typically children aged 9 to 12, involves a combination of emotional support, guidance, and age-appropriate boundaries. Tread carefully!  Some parents really find these years hard while some think it’s a breeze. Remember that our mantra is always “all kids are different!” And you get all that extra time to really know your kids.  Maintain open and non-judgmental communication with your tween. Encourage them to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Listen actively and provide a safe space for them to talk. 

1. Recognize their growing need for independence and autonomy

Encourage them to take on responsibilities, make decisions, and learn from their experiences. You want to respect their independence. While respecting their autonomy, establish clear rules and expectations. Discuss consequences for breaking rules and consistently enforce them. But also reevaluate them when something is not working. Not everybody would agree with this, but I like to collaborate with my kids when establishing these rules and expectations. And they are more likely to follow them when they’ve had a hand in creating them.

Positive Discipline for Teenagers shows parents how to build stronger bridges of communication with their children, break the destructive cycles of guilt and blame that occur in parent-teen power struggles, and work toward greater mutual respect with their adolescents.

2. Guide them in developing problem-solving skills.

Help them analyze situations, weigh pros and cons, and make informed decisions.

3. Discuss the importance of healthy friendships and how to navigate peer pressure

Offer guidance on resolving conflicts and making good friend choices. Discuss healthy communication with peers, including listening, expressing themselves clearly, and resolving conflicts constructively. Emphasize the values of respect, responsibility, and integrity in their interactions with others. Get your FREE Teen Healthy Relationship E-guide.

4. Pay attention to their emotional well-being

Help them manage stress, anxiety, and emotions by teaching coping strategies and offering emotional support.

Middle school can be one of the hardest times of life for many young people. Tweens, Tough Times, and Triumphs is full of information and an absolute necessity for anyone homeschooling the middle grades.

5. Support and nurture their interests and hobbies

Provide opportunities for them to explore various activities and find their passions.

6. Foster a love for reading

Provide access to a variety of books. Discuss what they read and encourage them to explore different genres. 

7. Educate them about personal safety, both online and offline

Discuss topics like stranger danger, internet safety, and emergency procedures. Set reasonable limits on screen time and ensure that they engage in a balance of activities, both online and offline.

One service that I’ve used for years is called QUSTODIO. When my kids first got devices around middle school age, I really struggled with online safety and protection, and I eventually found this great tool that allows me to monitor apps and websites from my phone. I can even see what websites they visit and block sites from my phone! As they’ve gotten older, I’ve dialed back the monitoring as they have learned online safety but if you’re struggling with this, I would highly recommend this.

Keep your kids safe online:
Learn more about Qustodio>>

8. Make time for family activities and bonding

This strengthens the family unit and provides a sense of security and belonging. Caring for tweens involves striking a balance between fostering their independence and providing the necessary guidance and support to help them navigate the challenges of adolescence. Adapt your parenting approach to meet the unique needs and personality of your tween, recognizing that each child is different and may require different types of care and support.

This Week’s Freebie:

Give your child the tools to make and nurture meaningful friendships: Download your FREE Tween Friendship Guide (pdf)

047. Socialization: Will My Homeschooler Be a Weirdo?

The “S” Word Socialization

Will My Homeschooler Be a Weirdo?

Episode 047:

TWO WAYS TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE:
1. Click PLAY Button Above ^^ to listen here.
2. OR Listen on your favorite podcast platform:

Are you just starting your homeschooling journey? We’re here to help! Begin with our Get Started in Homeschooling page and Homeschooling FAQ to make the transition smoother. If you’re guiding a young child, explore our How to Homeschool Kindergarten. to make those first steps special. For middle schoolers, don’t miss our Middle School page packed with tips and advice. And if you’re heading into the high school years, our Essential Steps to Homeschool High School will guide you every step of the way!

Show Notes

Homeschooling is becoming more and more mainstream, but myths, misinformation, and misconceptions about homeschooling are still all too common. It’s inevitable that all homeschool parents will hear a comment like “Homeschoolers are weird and poorly socialized!” More likely, they will hear it 87,000 times.  Everyone from your partner, to grandparents, to the stranger in their grocery store checkout is going to have an opinion on it.  And you may have concerns and doubts about it, too, especially after hearing this question over and over again.

In today’s episode we are going to talk about the S-word! SOCIALIZATION. Socialization is a valid concern.  But it’s also one of the biggest myths about homeschooling.  The myth of socialization when it comes to homeschooling is a common misconception that suggests homeschooled children miss out on crucial social experiences. Some people are concerned that homeschoolers will never learn common social etiquette and participate in group activities. Or that they won’t learn how to do things like standing in a line, waiting your turn, sharing, and other manners and habits.  There are also concerns that they will miss social cues, not know how to talk to other people, or behave.  And there are concerns that homeschoolers won’t have opportunities they may get in public school- like clubs, sports, and other activities.

Homeschooling can provide a rich and diverse social environment.

Homeschooled children do engage in social activities such as sports, music – like band and orchestra, clubs, and community events. These activities enable them to interact with peers and adults from all kinds of backgrounds. Additionally, homeschoolers have flexible schedules which allow them to explore real-world learning opportunities. People are starting to notice, and studies are proving that these opportunities allow these kids to foster strong interpersonal skills unlike if they were in a classroom all day. They are out in their communities every day, shopping, running errands, going to the post office, talking to neighbors, hanging out with friends, and tons of other opportunities we’re going to get to. 

Everyone likes to talk about socialization like it’s only a positive thing, too, but the truth is, there’s a lot to be concerned with when it comes to socialization.  When people ask if we are concerned about socialization, we respond that of course, we are!  We are totally concerned about bullying, peer pressure, and exposure to age inappropriate content. Homeschooling offers a more personalized and positive socialization experience, as it allows children to avoid a lot of negative peer pressures and bullying that can sometimes occur in traditional school settings. Not that these things don’t happen to homeschoolers – they do, but it’s often easier to nip that behavior in the bud as it happens, because you are right there.  This is something that is so much easier to do in a family group setting than it is when you find out about something that happened at school days later. Also, being present and modeling appropriate social behaviors and teaching your child if they say or do something inappropriate, can be corrected right there on the spot.

Overall, homeschooling’s socialization myth has been debunked many times over by the multitude of opportunities for social growth and development available to homeschooled kids.

What is socialization and why is it important for everyone? (7:04)

One of the things you will notice when you start getting these comments about socialization is that people often throw that word out without actually knowing what it means or what they mean. Is socialization being in a classroom with 30 kids from your neighborhood really replicating what you’ll experience in real life?  Of course not, traditional school and maybe a nursing home are the only places this segregation happens.  In your job, in your neighborhood, in public, you are always going to be surrounded by people of all ages and so many different backgrounds.

And it’s not that we don’t think socialization is important. Socialization is crucial for everyone for several reasons:

  • Social Skills Development: These interactions develop important skills, like communication, cooperation, empathy, and conflict resolution. These skills are crucial for success in both personal and professional life.
  • Emotional Well-being: Socialization provides emotional support and a sense of belonging. It can help children develop a healthy self-esteem and mental well-being. Friendships and social bonds can provide a strong emotional safety net.
  • Cultural Awareness: Socializing with a diverse group of people exposes children to different cultures, backgrounds, and perspectives, which fosters more cultural awareness and embracing people of all walks of life. 
  • Learning from Others: Interacting with peers allows children to learn from others’ experiences and perspectives. It can broaden their horizons and encourage intellectual growth.
  • Teamwork and Collaboration: Many aspects of life, including work and sports, require the ability to work effectively in teams. Socialization provides opportunities to learn teamwork and collaboration skills.
  • Conflict Resolution: Socialization involves dealing with conflicts and disagreements, which are valuable life skills. Learning how to navigate conflicts constructively is essential for personal and professional relationships.
  • Preparation for the Real World: children will eventually need to navigate the real world outside of the classroom. Our communities are full of diverse people and social situations. Socialization prepares them for this reality. When you think about it, a classroom is actually an artificially structured system. There are probably a lot of parents of kids in public school who worry about their children making it in the real world. Homeschooled kids get far more opportunities to interact with all different kinds of people.
  • Networking: Building a social network from a young age can be beneficial in various aspects of life, including career opportunities and personal connections.
  • Coping with Peer Pressure: Socialization allows children to learn how to handle peer pressure and make informed decisions, which is especially important during the teen years.
  • Building Friendships: Friendships formed during childhood and adolescence can be some of the most enduring and meaningful relationships in a person’s life. Socialization helps children build and maintain these connections.

It’s important to strike a balance between socialization and academics, ensuring that kids have plenty of time with friends while still receiving a quality education. Homeschooling families are so creative and often find ways to combine socializing with learning to ensure that their children develop both academically and socially. 

What are some ways that homeschoolers find social opportunities? (10:53)

One of the things that we often tell people is that we do have a problem with socialization as homeschoolers.  And that problem is that with so many extra hours in our day, it’s easy to overschedule yourself.  We sometimes struggle to find time to be at home and get our work done! One of my initial reasons to homeschool is because I wanted to give my kids more opportunities Beyond what a school can offer – I wanted to give them the world — but the world is big and it can really fill your calendar quickly!

Scroll down to download our free full list of 100 Ways to Socialize your Homeschooler:

Homeschoolers have so many different avenues for socialization that can help them build meaningful relationships and develop those important social skills:

Local Homeschool Groups: search out local homeschooling support groups and co-ops where families meet regularly for educational and social activities. These groups often organize field trips, classes, and group projects.  

We’ve talked often about our park day groups which is really where we laid that foundation for friendships. And so many of the group activities and clubs we started later, came from these original park day groups.And we did so many parties with these now lifelong friends- not back to school parties, Easter Egg Hunts, Christmas potluck dinners, Halloween Parties, and Valentine exchanges. 

And later- we have been part of groups that put on dances- “what about the prom is a common homeschool question that we have all been asked.  Usually when we have kids so young, prom isn’t even on the horizon!  Well, they can go to the prom!  And there’s also Graduation- some mom friends and I worked so hard and put together a grand event– I think it was about 15 kids, and since my daughter also earned her associates degree in high school, we did the big ceremony at the community college too. And then I also hosted a big bash with all the kids she grew up with.  

Keep in mind that every kid is different, and they may not want a big graduation ceremony or a big party and that’s OK too. At 17 and 18, they probably have a pretty good idea how they want to celebrate. So, make sure you bring them to the table. That can be hard sometimes for parents because this is our celebration too.  Make sure you aren’t projecting your own feelings onto your kids. This is their moment. 

Extracurricular Activities: Homeschooled children can participate in extracurricular activities like sports teams, art classes, music lessons, dance classes, band, or theater groups within their community.

You should check out our FREE Extracurricular Workbook. We’ve listed over 100 ideas and step-by-step ways to help your child find some extracurriculars that they will love. 

Community Classes: Enrolling in classes at local community centers or libraries can help homeschoolers meet and interact with peers who share their interests. We love our libraries!  I started when my kids were toddlers, taking them to library story time. We’ve also done a lot of rec center classes- they are low cost and low commitment.  We’ve used that as a way to try things out without getting sucked into a multi month session if the kids want to quit after two classes.

Volunteer Work: Volunteering is also an excellent way for homeschoolers to give back to their community and make new friends. For years, we volunteered at an Alzheimer’s and dementia center and some of my kid’s friends are 90 years old. I absolutely love that my kids don’t care if you’re 2 years old or 90 years old. Age is irrelevant to them. We’ve often volunteered with other kids who are passionate about similar causes- we put together food bundles at food bank, we did a homeless coat drive, we got together with other families and wrote letters to veterans, we did a book drive for an underprivileged school and all the homeschool kids read the books to these young children. We also did meals on wheels when my kids were very young – Cameron was in his car seat, walking up and ringing the doorbell. Sometimes we would talk for a long time to these people. They were often very lonely.

My kids do a lot of nursing home gigs as Irish dancers especially during St. Patrick’s season- they absolutely love interacting with the seniors in these communities.  

Online Communities: There are also so many opportunities for homeschoolers to connect with others through online forums, social media groups, and virtual clubs or classes. We’ve talked about how online friends can be absolutely real and valuable.

Local Events and Clubs: you can also participate in community events and clubs, like 4-H, or you can participate in youth groups. My kids do Youth and Government through the YMCA.  Both of our kids have done scouting.  

Part-Time Jobs: Older teens can get a part-time job and learn a lot of valuable skills. They learn how to cooperate as a team and make new friends. A job can also provide exposure to a variety of situations as they learn to navigate working with others. And homeschoolers can work during the day. In high school, my daughter was able to earn her associates degree and work a full-time job to buy her first car, and still have plenty of time for friends. 

Family and Friends:  Don’t discount family!  One of the reasons I started homeschooling was because I had 2 kids under 2 and then 3 under 4.  I didn’t have the same social need for a preschooler that a parent of an only child might have.  My kids were a group almost from the beginning.

Time spent with extended family members and close friends are more social opportunities for homeschoolers. These family gatherings and playdates are the best!  And those private play days are such wonderful memories for me. Through the years, my kids’ best friends’ parents have been MY best friends. These are some of my favorite homeschool times. 

Field Trips: Homeschoolers often go on educational field trips to museums, zoos, historical sites, and nature reserves, where they can interact with both their peers and experts in various fields.

We love field trips and have an awesome episode with 100 Top Field Trips. Personally, I’d rather go on a field trip to learn hands on, than do a worksheet! I also created this super cool field trip guide you can download for free.

Online Classes: Some homeschoolers take online courses or virtual classes, where they can collaborate with teachers and students from around the world. We have loved Outschool!

Outschool is an educational platform offering over 100,000 Interactive Online Classes for every age group from 3 to 18 years. You can use it as full academic classes or supplements.
Learn More >>

It’s important to note that homeschooling can be tailored to each child’s needs and preferences, allowing families to create a socialization plan that aligns with their values and educational goals while providing ample opportunities for interaction with others.

Are traditionally schooled children better socialized than homeschooled kids? (26:18)

In those younger years homeschooling takes less than an hour. Even when our kids were earning their associates degree in high school, they never did more than 4 hours of school each day. This allows for more opportunities for positive social interactions. All of the social opportunities that we just talked about that homeschoolers are experiencing during the day when they’re not in a classroom, have given them experiences and more opportunities for socializing and learning these skills. 

It’s important to note that the social development of any child is influenced by a lot of factors, including their individual personality, their family environment, and the specific homeschooling or traditional school experience they receive.  And unfortunately, as homeschooled parents, the pressure is all on us.  Our kids are a reflection of us.  If your school kid grows up to be a troublemaker or outcast, you can blame the school environment. But nobody questions whether or not kids in school are socialized. Let me tell you, being put in a building with peers of your same age and socioeconomic background is not necessarily socializing. But for homeschoolers, it’s all on us.

So let’s talk about some of the differences in socialization between traditional school kids and homeschooled kids.

Here are some considerations:

Homeschooled Kids:

  • Varied Experiences: Homeschooled children have more flexibility to engage in a wide range of social experiences, including interacting with people of different ages, cultural backgrounds and perspectives, promoting diversity and tolerance.
  • Individualism: Homeschoolers feel minimal peer pressure to conform or fit in and are encouraged to express themselves and have a voice without social pressures. Homeschooling can provide more one-on-one time with parents or educators, potentially addressing specific social needs and positive guidance. 
  • Limited Negative Influences: Homeschooling can minimize children from negative peer pressures and bullying and provide guidance when needed.
  • Tailored Learning: Homeschooled children can learn at their own pace, especially those with learning differences, reducing the stress and social anxiety that can occur in a classroom setting. 

Traditionally Schooled Kids:

  • Structured Environment: Traditional schools provide a structured social environment with limited real-world experiences. Students learn to navigate various social situations and hierarchies with a large student teacher ratio affording minimal guidance. 
  • Peer Interaction: From an early age, kids learn how to be like others and conform, at the cost of neglecting or even never discovering what it is that makes them special. In a school environment, peer pressure can dictate things from how to look and sound to how to act in order to be accepted by the peer circle.

In Conclusion

There is a large body of research focused on determining whether homeschooled or traditional schooled kids are better-socialized. The research has found that being homeschooled does not harm socialization skills, and in fact, more and more studies are indicating that homeschooled children score more highly than children who attend school on measurements of socialization.

Ultimately, whether homeschooled or traditionally schooled children are “better” socially depends on the individual child, the quality of their educational environment, and their unique social needs. Some homeschooled children thrive socially, while others may face challenges.  It’s up to you to figure out what best works for your family and child. Similarly, traditionally schooled children can excel socially or encounter difficulties.  When someone asks you if you are worried your kids will be weird.  Ask them if they knew any weird kids from school. We all did! Here’s the thing.  My kids were going to be weirdos whether they went to school or not.  Sorry kids, but that is genetic!

The key is to provide opportunities for socialization and development. Many homeschooling families actively seek out socialization opportunities for their children to ensure they have well-rounded experiences. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to whether homeschooled kids are better socially than traditionally schooled kids. Social development is a complex and multifaceted process influenced by various factors, and both educational approaches can provide valuable social experiences when done thoughtfully and with the child’s best interests in mind.

It’s easy for those outside the homeschooling community to look at these students as “different” or “socially awkward.” But much of that sentiment results from simply not having any real knowledge of what homeschoolers actually do. Homeschool parents don’t tie their kids to a desk for 8 hours. They’re cuddled on the couch reading books, they’re learning at libraries, at museums, they’re interacting with residents at senior centers, with other families and fellow students. They’re experiencing real-life situations and conversing with many types of people from all walks of life. They play Little League, nerf battles, video games, text their friends, join clubs, and are free to be themselves with opportunities beyond what they could get in a school environment.

This Week’s Freebie:

Download the Complete Socialization List HERE (pdf)

045. High School Socialization, Friendships, and Dating

High School Socialization, Friendships, and Dating

Episode 045:

Are you just starting your homeschooling journey? We’re here to help! Begin with our Get Started in Homeschooling page and Homeschooling FAQ to make the transition smoother. If you’re guiding a young child, explore our How to Homeschool Kindergarten. to make those first steps special. For middle schoolers, don’t miss our Middle School page packed with tips and advice. And if you’re heading into the high school years, our Essential Steps to Homeschool High School will guide you every step of the way!

Show Notes

Socialization, friendships, and dating are such important roles in the holistic development of high schoolers, and this holds true for homeschooled students just as much as their traditionally schooled peers. During the teen years, friendships become even more important as our children are growing in their understanding of the world and where they fit in it. Recognizing the significance of nurturing meaningful friendships and exploring healthy dating relationships can empower homeschooled high schoolers to build vital life skills, emotional resilience, and a strong sense of identity as they transition into adulthood. 

The Youngest BTDT Babies on Campus for Dual Credit Courses. November 2014 vs. August 2023

These socialization aspects of teenage life are not merely about having fun and passing the time; they are essential for emotional, social, and psychological growth. While homeschooling provides many advantages, such as personalized education and flexible schedules, it can sometimes present challenges when it comes to social interaction. But we need not fear that our teens will be “limited” socially by being schooled at home during these years. That is short-range thinking. The social possibilities for homeschoolers are endless, really. All it takes is a bit of creativity and willingness to make it happen. 

If you’re new to homeschooling high school, be sure to check out the Essential Steps to Homeschool High School. This episode is part of our High School series, offering expert advice, comprehensive documentation, and resources like Free Transcript Templates to help you stay organized.

12 Steps to Homeschooling High School

How much time should my high schooler spend with friends? (6:12)

The amount of time your high schooler should spend with friends can vary greatly depending on their individual personality, needs, and commitments. Not every child has the same need for interactions. And the same goes for parents.  If you are an introvert and your child is not, you are going to have to make some effort to facilitate social interactions for your child.  That may mean stepping way out of your comfort zone! 

Family Dynamics

Also, consider your family dynamic.  If you have more than one child, or those of varying ages and interests, this sometimes requires some massive scheduling on your part. Likewise, don’t forget the importance of family time. It’s essential for your child to maintain a connection with the family unit. Consider setting aside specific times for family activities and bonding. 

I have been a fan of The Chicken Soup Series forever. I love that they made a teen version. Being a teen is hard – and this book makes them feel like they are not alone. This book is filled with stories that will make you laugh and make you cry. It will act as a best friend, keep you company, motivate you, and reassure you that other teenagers have been through the same ups and downs and have come out okay.

Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul

Academic Responsibilities

High school students will have academic responsibilities that should be a priority, especially if they are college bound. Encourage your teen to establish a balance between schoolwork and socializing.  Luckily, as homeschoolers, we do have the flexibility of setting our own schedules, so social activities don’t have to be limited to weekends or evenings.  

Extracurricular Activities

If your child is involved in extracurricular activities such as sports, clubs, theater, or music groups, they may naturally spend more time with friends during these activities. This is beneficial as it combines socializing with personal interests and skill development.  Socialization needs will vary from kid to kid, and as your child gets older, they may naturally want more independence and private time with friends, outside of these activities. It’s essential to strike a balance between allowing them this independence and ensuring they still meet their responsibilities and obligations at home and school.

Open Communication

You really want to make sure you maintain open communication with your high schooler about their social life. Encourage them to share their plans and needs with you and be willing to listen if they have concerns or questions about how much time they should spend or want to spend with friends. There are definitely times when we feel over scheduled and over socialized, and we had to dial everything back in and then there were times where we felt the opposite.  

Opposing Schedules

High school gets tricky because a lot of kids have fine-tuned their interests, everyone is going different directions, and doing different times of schooling or classes, and sometimes you may even stop seeing some of your best friends due to opposite schedules and activities, or if they’ve chosen to go to public school at this point. When that’s been the case, we have always encouraged our kids to try to schedule times to hang out with those friends and to open the door to new friendships. That happens to everyone – even us as adults. Friendships come in and out of our lives. Gone are the days of easy park days where you just show up.  Sometimes you really have to make an effort to plan things and stay on top of schedules to ensure it happens.  If you kids can’t or don’t want to do that, you may have to!

Healthy Relationships

You really want to ensure that the time spent with friends is healthy and positive. Know the company your child keeps, and discuss any concerns you may have regarding peer pressure, negative influences, or unsafe behaviors. Take an active role in meeting their friends and chatting with them – and their parents. Keep an open dialogue with your kids. They’re starting to branch out and spend less time with family and more with friends. One of my favorite things about homeschooling is establishing a strong bond from a young age, so that we always have an open dialogue. You want your children to feel safe telling you things.

It’s also more important for your high schooler to have a few close, meaningful friendships than to be constantly surrounded by friends. Encourage them to focus on nurturing these deep connections.  We always try to stress quality over quantity.

Safety and Setting Boundaries

You also need to make sure your child understands the importance of safety and setting boundaries in their social interactions, both online and offline. Teach them to make responsible decisions about where and with whom they spend their time. This is especially important for kids who spend a lot of time online.  We try to talk a lot about not oversharing information, being cautious of potential scammers and fake people, and just guarding your online interactions, in general. We have a responsibility to teach our kids to think critically. Teaching them online safety can sometimes be especially hard for us because our kids usually know way more about tech and online things than we do!  So do your best to stay current so that you can discuss this stuff with your kids. 

Overall Well-Being

Pay attention to your child’s well-being. If they seem overwhelmed, stressed, or exhausted from socializing, it might be a sign that they need to scale back and prioritize self-care.  Talk to your kids about stress management – nutrition, hydration, healthy sleep habits. If they seem lonely, down, or moody, you definitely want to address that and do what you can do to help them-some of these highs and lows are completely normal with teenagers as they feel all the feels. But pay attention when things seem off more than normal.  Even though they are older, they often need guidance navigating relationships and activities.  

If your teen is new to homeschooling and maybe came out of a difficult school situation due to bullying or negative social interaction, this is even more important and can be a huge adjustment.  Keep trying and do what you can to assist.

Different Needs

Lastly, remember that every teenager is different. Some may be more introverted and prefer less social interaction, while others may be extroverted and thrive on frequent social contact. Respect your child’s personality and adjust expectations accordingly. Again, this is one of the many advantages to homeschooling, that we can customize our approach to socializing just like we can with academics. Ultimately, the amount of time your high schooler spends with friends should align with their personal needs and interests. It’s important to maintain a healthy balance between socialization, academics, extracurricular activities, and family time while allowing your child to develop the social skills and connections that are so important for their well-being.

What can I do to help my high schooler develop meaningful friendships? (16:24)

Helping your high schooler develop meaningful friendships is important for their social and emotional development. But where do you even begin finding friends and developing these relationships?  Like we mentioned before, high school can get tricky even if you aren’t new to homeschooling because kids tend to split at this age- their interests are more fine-tuned, they may be involved more heavily into other groups and activities, and their time is precious, too.

Look for local homeschooling groups or co-ops where your high schooler can meet other homeschooled students. These groups often organize activities, classes, and events that provide opportunities for social interaction.  Even if you have been involved in a group for a long time, you may want to consider branching out to other groups and seeing what else is out there. We belong to a lot of groups and they all have a different dynamic and vibe, and bring something else to the table.

Encourage your child to participate in extracurricular activities such as sports teams, music groups, art classes, and community service clubs. Not only are these essential for just being a well-rounded person, but these activities can also help them meet like-minded peers who share their interests. 

In today’s digital age, online friendships can be just as meaningful as in-person ones. A lot of parents who really limit online interaction and are very strict about kids not having phones, social media, etc. While you do want to make sure your child is protected, technology is our future and kids are going to find their way to it eventually- with or without your blessing. Ensure your child has access to safe online communities, forums, or social media groups where they can connect with other homeschoolers or friends who share their hobbies and interests. 

One service that I’ve used for years is called QUSTODIO. When my kids first got devices around middle school age, I really struggled with online safety and protection, and I eventually found this great tool that allows me to monitor apps and websites from my phone. I can even see what websites they visit and block sites from my phone! As they’ve gotten older, I’ve dialed back the monitoring as they have learned online safety but if you’re struggling with this, I would highly recommend this.

Keep your kids safe online:
Learn more about Qustodio>>

Engaging in volunteer work is another great opportunity. It not only allows your child to give back to the community but also offers more chances to meet people who share their passion for making a difference. We also really like scouts for this. It’s great for kids who want organized opportunities with a lot of fun and group activities. 

Look for local classes or workshops related to your child’s interests or hobbies. This can be anything from dance classes to coding workshops. These environments often foster social interaction. Your local recreation center is a great source for this, as well as your local libraries.   Library classes and activities are typically free even if you don’t have a card and a lot have reciprocal programs with neighboring city libraries, too.

If your child is old enough, a part-time job can be an excellent way to meet new people. Working with peers can help develop social skills and build friendships. Sometimes these are great learning opportunities to help your kid figure out what they want to do- and what they don’t want to do! 

One challenge for homeschoolers that do dual credit, is that their on-campus peers are often a lot older than they are.  While we are ok with them swapping numbers or meeting up on campus after class for study related things, we do let our kids know that they need to be upfront about the fact that they can’t really socialize with them outside of class. 

Make sure your child has the necessary social skills to build and maintain friendships. Teach them effective communication, active listening, empathy, and conflict resolution. And while it’s important to support your child in building friendships, it’s also crucial to respect their autonomy. Allow them to choose their friends and give them space to develop these relationships, while still talking often about positive interactions and safety. This can be hard for some parents! Just do your best to keep communication lines open with your child. Encourage them to talk about their feelings, experiences, and any challenges they may be facing in the process of making friends.

This is a bit older but still a relevant and helpful resource for parenting in our “Tech World”. In iRules, Hofmann provides families with the tools they need to find a balance between technology and human interaction through a philosophy she calls Slow Tech Parenting. In the book, she educates parents about the online culture tweens and teens enter the minute they go online, exploring issues like cyberbullying, friend fail, and sexting, as well as helping parents create their own iRules contracts to fit their families’ needs.

iRules: What Every Tech-Healthy Family Needs to Know about Selfies, Sexting, Gaming, and Growing up

Building meaningful friendships can take time, so be patient and don’t push your child too hard. It’s normal for the process to have its ups and downs. And when you’re a teenager, these shifts can sometimes feel very extreme from happy to sad. Like we mentioned earlier, the quality of friendships is more important than the quantity. Encourage them to focus on building deep, meaningful connections with a few individuals rather than trying to be friends with everyone. Building friendships is a skill that takes time and practice, so continue to provide support and guidance.

Should my high schooler date? (24:46)

Deciding whether or not your high schooler should date is a personal and often complex decision that depends on various factors, including your child’s maturity level, values, and your family’s beliefs and guidelines. 

You really need to assess their emotional and social maturity. Are they capable of handling the responsibilities and potential challenges that come with dating Like communication, compromise, and understanding boundaries? I would encourage you to sit down and have an open and honest conversation about dating. Ask them about their thoughts and feelings regarding dating and really listen to them. In a couple of years, they’ll be young adults and they’re going to be off doing their thing without consulting you, so use this time to help them and influence them in a positive way.  As your teen grows, you can be there to help them work through different situations or challenges. Talking to them about relationships and consent will help them understand how to take care of themselves and others. Remember that your child may not always feel like talking or opening up. Be patient and make sure they know they can speak to you about anything. 

Sheldon and Amy’s Relationship Contract

Mentioning consent always makes me laugh thinking about Sheldon and Amy’s relationship agreement in The Big Bang Theory. It’s so funny when he draws up the contract about when they can and can’t hold hands. Or that short video about tea and consent (*warning F-Bomb) when somebody changes their mind about having tea.  

Tea and Consent

Give your child some examples of healthy and unhealthy behaviors – watch these videos with them. They are humorous, but it’s a serious topic that needs to be addressed. Chat with them about how consent comes across in words and body language. If someone seems uncomfortable with something or says no, it’s important to listen.

Discuss with them what a healthy relationship is. It’s when both people are:

  • Caring
  • Considerate
  • Kind
  • Encouraging

You want to teach them about red flags in a relationship like:

  • Controlling
  • Isolating the other person (they might discourage them from seeing friends)
  • Passive-aggressive or unkind
  • Self-centered, not considering the other’s needs.

Talk to your child about respect. Speak about gender equality and spotting sexual harassment It’s our job to educate our kids well beyond academics. These are conversations that should be happening from when they were young, but if they weren’t, start today. This goes well beyond dating. These are things that teach them about respecting others and themselves.  Be sure to get your FREE Healthy Relationship E-Guide>>

Be aware of potential peer pressure or external influences that might be motivating your child to date. Encourage them to make decisions based on their own feelings and values, not solely to fit in or meet others’ expectations. This is another positive of homeschooling. Many homeschooled kids haven’t really had to succumb to peer pressure. From early on, they were encouraged to have a voice and be heard, and that carries through not only in their teen years, but for the rest of their lives.

Consider your family’s values and beliefs regarding dating and relationships. Different families have different approaches, and it’s important to align your decision on dating rules with your family’s values. Model healthy relationships and communication within your own family. Your child will learn a lot about relationships by observing how you and your partner interact.

Sometimes, focusing on building strong friendships during high school can be a more suitable approach for teenagers who are not yet ready for dating. But if you decide to allow dating, set age-appropriate boundaries and rules. Depending on your child’s age and your comfort level, you might choose to supervise their early dating experiences more closely. These could include curfews, group dates, and guidelines for physical affection. Or no closed doors when in bedrooms, and not being at someone’s house when parents aren’t home.  As they demonstrate responsibility and maturity, you can grant more independence. Be clear about your expectations.

Ultimately, the decision to allow your high schooler to date should be based on their individual readiness and your family’s values. Keep in mind that every teenager is different, and what works for one may not work for another.  Emphasize the importance of maintaining a balance between dating, academics, extracurricular activities, and family commitments. Ensure that dating doesn’t interfere with their responsibilities. It’s crucial to maintain open communication with your child, listen to their concerns, and provide guidance and support as they navigate the complexities of dating and relationships.

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