Redefining Normal: Embracing Homeschooling

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Episode 070:

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Are you just starting your homeschooling journey? We’re here to help! Begin with our Get Started in Homeschooling page and Homeschooling FAQ to make the transition smoother. If you’re guiding a young child, explore our How to Homeschool Kindergarten. to make those first steps special. For middle schoolers, don’t miss our Middle School page packed with tips and advice. And if you’re heading into the high school years, our Essential Steps to Homeschool High School will guide you every step of the way!

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Show Notes

Even though we’ve always homeschooled our kids, we understand that the transition to homeschooling can bring about complex emotions for a lot of families. We often hear from parents who find themselves mourning the loss of what they believed to be “normal” and struggling with the new reality. It’s natural to feel this way when faced with significant changes, whether it’s homeschooling or another major shift. 

Some people have a specific picture of childhood in their minds, and the path ahead might look completely different now that you’ve chosen homeschooling. It’s perfectly normal to grieve when expectations clash with reality. Today, we’re providing some helpful tips on how to transition smoothly, redefine your family’s new “normal,” and embrace the rewarding journey ahead.

Navigating the Emotional Terrain

The shift to homeschooling can feel like stepping into uncharted territory, especially if it wasn’t the original plan. Some people feel a profound sense of loss, and that might not just be your routine, but also the future you had imagined. This mourning of “normal” can feel similar to grief over any significant life change—be it a career shift, a move, or even a personal loss. It’s about letting go of an expected path and embracing this new one that was not initially on your radar.

In Episode 041, “Finding Confidence as a Homeschooler,” we talked about overcoming fears and worries that all of us face on this journey. We also talked about when the right time is to start homeschooling, how you can teach subjects you’re not familiar with, and what you can do to build your confidence as a homeschool mom. That was more the practical side of building your confidence, but today, we wanted to talk about working through the apprehension you may be feeling about this new homeschooling lifestyle.

Embracing the New Journey

One of the first steps in overcoming this (or any) emotional hurdle is to recognize and honor your feelings. It’s important to acknowledge that mourning “normal” doesn’t mean you are ungrateful or regretful. After all, you’ve chosen to homeschool because you know it’s the right decision for your family. It simply means you’re adjusting to a significant life change. We would encourage you to give yourself permission to feel these emotions—it’s a crucial part of the healing process. 

Anybody who has ever chosen to homeschool has probably battled with this feeling in one way or another. It’s important to keep in mind that this transition is going to be a lot easier when you find a community of like-minded people who understand what you’re going through. In our Episode 007, “Finding Your People”, we emphasize the importance of connecting with other homeschoolers and walking through exactly how you can do that. Sometimes we feel like we’re on a solo mission here and connecting with other people who are also going through it can offer invaluable support and reassurance and it can make the transition a lot smoother and more enjoyable- not just for you, also your kids! There’s a chance that they may be having some of these feelings too.

Redefining “Normal”

As you navigate this new path, it’s essential to redefine what “normal” means for your family. The traditional markers of childhood—school events, sports teams, dances, and hangouts—might be a little different as a homeschooling family, but I assure you, homeschoolers are also enriching their lives with all these things too. However, they may take on new forms- that you actually just might love even MORE than the picture in your head. We’re going to get to all of that later in this episode.

Yeah, we got some great things to share. Also, I wanted to mention our episode about “Dealing with Naysayers,” —we talked about how to manage negative opinions and criticism about your homeschooling choice. It’s a reminder that your family’s “normal” may look different from the outside or within your current circle of friends. You don’t have to give up these friends, but there is an entire world of new friends waiting for you…and your kids! It may seem scary at first, but meeting new people and getting plugged into your homeschool community is probably a lot easier than you think.

And spend less time with unsupportive people!  Spend more time with others that lift you up. 

Myth of Socialization

Some of your worry and apprehension might be due to the fact that you think your children will be missing out on friendships. One of the most persistent myths about homeschooling is that these kids are isolated and lack social experiences. In reality, this misconception couldn’t be further from the truth.

The myth of socialization often stems from a lack of understanding of what homeschoolers actually do. Homeschoolers aren’t confined to their desks for eight hours a day. When you are one on one, lessons take a fraction of the time as traditional school which allows for hours and hours everyday for more activities and MORE opportunities to hang out with their friends.

 Even earning their associates degrees in high school, our kids never spent more than 4 hours a day on school – and in elementary maybe an hour a day.

A common mistake new homeschoolers make is trying to do too much. Remember that your homeschool day does not have to look like a traditional school day. You are not balancing 30 other students and classroom transitions. Super small teacher/student ratios enable us to get things done a lot quicker, and give your students ample free time to pursue their interests. 

You should definitely check out our Socialization Episode (047) for more information about debunking this myth, but we wanted to list out some of the ways here that homeschooling offers so many opportunities:

• Community Engagement: Homeschoolers are out interacting with their communities through volunteer work, local events, and service projects. This exposure helps them build relationships with people of all ages, backgrounds, and cultures.

• Field Trips and Outings: Trips to libraries, museums, parks, and historical sites can offer opportunities to engage with tons of people and learn from real-life experiences. If you’re kind of stuck and not sure where you should go or what you should do, download our field trip bundle – it has 100 Field Trip Ideas. Oftentimes, we visit places that compliment what we are currently studying. Or sometimes we’re just doing the homeschool activities around town – ice-skating rinks, gymnastics, so many places have homeschool days for a fraction of the price while other kids are in school.

• Extracurricular Activities: Sports teams, art classes, music lessons, and clubs provide additional avenues for socialization. These kids participate in group activities where they can meet friends with similar interests.  I also hosted 2 geography clubs and a writing/poetry club. We’ve done book clubs and our board game club. You can download our free extracurricular workbook to get some ideas.

• Homeschool Co-ops and Groups: Many homeschooling families join co-ops and support groups that organize educational activities, field trips, and different social events like dances or just coffee shop hangouts. We were in a great co-op for years- we even co-taught several classes together through the years. We had a great time with our Adventure Kids Club – we did so many activities and formed life-long friendships along the way.

• Family and Friends: these kids get to spend quality time with extended family and friends. This close-knit social circle fosters strong, meaningful relationships. I love that we can just go take a few days and hang out with the grandparents. They live an hour away and each of my kids have such a great relationship with them. 

Another really cool thing is that homeschoolers are not limited by age-segregated groups like in public school. These kids learn to interact with all kinds of people. Far from being isolated, homeschooling provides MORE opportunities for meaningful socialization than a traditional classroom setting.

Advantages of Homeschooling

When you’re feeling like your child might be missing out or you’re mourning the loss of that sense of “normal,” it’s helpful to focus on the positive aspects of homeschooling. There are so many advantages that can far outweigh traditional schooling:

• Personalized Learning: possibly one of the reasons you’ve chosen to homeschool your kids is that the education system failed them. One of the greatest advantages of homeschooling is the ability to tailor education to your child’s interests and learning style. Lessons can be customized to match your child’s strengths and areas for improvement, ensuring a more effective and engaging learning experience.

• Flexibility and Freedom: You can set your own schedule. If you have a night owl, you can do school in the afternoon or evening. There’s no rule that school has to happen between 8am and 4 PM. You can plan vacations and travel into your curriculum, and adjust learning plans as needed. Our Episode 052, Education Vacation laid out ways to make your vacation part of your school with a FREE Vacation Planner. And travel when it’s cheapest – when everybody else is in school. You know I love staying on budget!

• Strong Family Relationships: we talked about this earlier with the grandparents, spending more time together allows for deeper connections and shared experiences. You can do unit studies as a family and learn together. 

• Fostering a Love of Learning: Without the constraints of a traditional school schedule, homeschooling allows children to explore subjects they are passionate about. My kids have so much free time. My daughter had a job in high school and was able to save up to buy her own car. She also has rebuilt several cars and computers and my son is passionate about classical guitar. He performs his music- he teaches lessons and sets up his own gigs. This freedom encourages a lifelong love of learning and self-motivation. And mine were/are competitive athletes.  Shorter school days meant more studio time.  I don’t think we would have been able to dedicate that time with a normal school schedule.

• Direct Involvement in Learning: As a homeschool parent, you have a more direct role in your child’s daily education. This involvement allows you to guide their learning, provide immediate feedback, and ensure that their education aligns with your family’s goals and values.
• Real-Life Skill Building: Homeschooling provides opportunities for real-life skill building that might be overlooked in a traditional classroom. Children can learn practical skills through hands-on projects, family responsibilities, and community involvement.

• Customized Pace: Homeschooling allows children to progress at their own pace. They can move quickly through subjects they understand and spend more time on challenging topics, resulting in a more personalized and effective learning experience.

• No Homework: Since all learning occurs during the day, there is no need for additional homework. This approach reduces stress and allows children to focus on learning and enjoying their free time.

• Improved Performance: Research indicates that homeschooled students often perform better on standardized tests and show greater pride in their achievements. This self-motivation and personalized attention contribute to their academic success.

• Reduced Negative Pressures: Homeschooling minimizes exposure to negative social pressures such as bullying and peer ridicule. This supportive environment helps maintain your child’s self-esteem and encourages a positive attitude toward learning.

• Broader Exposure: these kids are not stuck in a classroom all day and have more exposure and time for experiences. This interaction helps them develop strong communication skills and gain insights from diverse perspectives.

Deschooling

Deschooling is an essential phase in transitioning to homeschooling. This time is really important when you’re worried about this new lifestyle. It involves taking a break from formal education methods and allowing both parents and children to adjust to a more relaxed and organic approach to learning. During this time, you can focus on fostering curiosity, creativity, and a love of learning without the constraints of traditional schooling.

For more information on deschooling and how to make the most of this transition, please visit Deschooling 101. It offers insights and practical tips for navigating this important phase in your homeschooling journey.

Finding Joy in the New Normal

As you adjust to homeschooling, remember that the journey is unique to each family. Embrace the changes and find joy in the new experiences and opportunities that homeschooling brings. The sense of loss over “normal” will gradually fade as you build new traditions and create a fulfilling educational experience. Mourning what could have been is a natural part of the process, but it doesn’t define your homeschooling journey. Celebrate the progress you make, cherish the moments of connection with your children, and find comfort in the knowledge that you are providing a meaningful and personalized education.

Remember too, not to project your personal feelings on your student.  A lot of times that “normal” we are mourning is an extension of our school and life experience and that is not necessarily the same thing that our kids experience.  We are all unique individuals.  Something important to us, might not be to our child and vice versa.  

Homeschool Prom video (9min):

In conclusion, transitioning to homeschooling can be both challenging and rewarding. By acknowledging and working through your feelings of loss, connecting with supportive communities, and actively seeking socialization and deschooling opportunities, you can embrace the gift of homeschooling and create a new “normal” that enriches your family’s life. Embrace this new chapter with an open heart, and know that you are not alone in this journey. Your path may be different from what you had originally envisioned, but it is filled with its own unique rewards and opportunities.  

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