016.

How Do You Survive a Bad Day?

How do you homeschool an angry child?
When should you abandon ship?
Wow do you survive big life changes while homeschooling?
Can I still homeschool after a divorce?

Tune in this week while we discuss these topics and more!

Episode 016:

Click above PLAY Button or listen on your favorite podcast platform:

All Episodes

Episodes Coming Soon

Show Notes

If you are brand new to homeschooling, be sure to visit the Getting Started Page

If you’re having a hard homeschool day, we totally understand! We have Been There Done That! We get frazzled just like every other homeschool mom. You’re going to have bad days. Not every day is going to look like a pinterest photo or Instagram post. You have to keep in mind that homeschooling is a marathon and not a sprint. You will get through it and we are here to help give you some tips, tricks, and encouragement to get through those challenging days. The thing about a bad day is that at the end of it, it’s over, and you have the opportunity to start anew tomorrow.

How do you survive a bad day? (3:29)

Step Away

The first thing that I would recommend is to just step away and take some time away from each other.

Homeschooling means we are all around each other all the time. Take some time to all go to your own place and be alone for a little while. This is especially true for tweens and teens. they are at an age where they are becoming more independent and during that transition time, they’re going to start needing more time away from you. Some homeschool parents think it’s important to establish that they are the boss. If this is how you see your role in the relationship, then be a respectful boss. It’s ok for you to step away and take a pause. If you see things that are going south quickly, take a breath and count to 10. Take a moment to gather yourself and calm down. Don’t let your reaction to a child’s behavior or an incident escalate an already sour situation. Bad moods are contagious and you are the adult, it is your job to diffuse or deescalate. Don’t be part of the problem.

Yoga Time — Everyone just might need a yoga moment

Focus on One Thing

The next thing that you can do is shift your focus to just one thing. When days fall apart, you can’t do it all. Choose ONE thing you can do and do it. You could decide to give your child only one thing to do, you could choose to only focus on cooking dinner, or whatever. What is the old saying? That there’s not really a productive multitasker. That we all are just multitasking every task in a mediocre way. You are not going to be productive during stressful moments, so stop multitasking and let everything go, except that one focus item.

Bag it all and regroup with friends

Are the kids at each other’s throats? Is everyone in a bad mood and it just keeps getting worse? Maybe try bagging it all and leaving to connect with friends or your homeschool group. No one is going to get your situation like another frazzled homeschool mom, and some buffer friends to play with may ease that sibling rivalry that’s happening today.

Change Something

You are in charge of your homeschool and how your day goes. There are many ways to accomplish the same purpose besides doing every single thing that a curriculum tells you to do. You can also break a lesson up into smaller digestible bites. Consider if this is something that comes up every time you do math, for instance, maybe it’s an issue with the program you are using and you need to make a change to another program.

Take a Field Trip

Take an impromptu field trip, get out of the house. Maybe use some of those Groupons you bought for the adventure park or aquarium, or hit your area’s historic farm and continue your history lesson but in another setting.

Have a Movie Day

Drop everything for a popcorn and movie day. You can even choose a documentary and still make it a learning day.

Go Outside

Take a bike ride, head to the gym, or head to a trampoline park. Exercise is a great stress release for everyone. There is nothing like a long walk to clear the head and relieve anxiety. Blow off some steam with some active movement.

Nature

Get into the woods for a nature hike. Being outdoors is an instant calming mechanism, even in the rain or snow. Being outside is healing for your soul. It clears your mind and then you can come back in and reset.

Activity

Do some activities instead of hardcore lessons. Don’t forget our teenagers need play time, too. Play a boardgame together, or some cards, or a math game.

Water

Take a warm bath or shower- nice hot water, throw some epsom salts or a bath bomb in there and go soak, and come out when they feel nicer or calmer. Take some extra time to put a facemask on and slather lotion all over.

Adult Time

Make sure to nurture your own time alone, with your spouse, or with your friends. Join an adult sport. Do something you enjoy and don’t talk about homeschool. We need more that just days filled with homeschooling. Moms Night Out with friends can be a great reset.

Ask

Sometimes the source of the struggle may not be what you thought it was. Ask your child, “Why do you think this is so hard for you and what do you think will make this easier right now?” If you collaborate with them, they may give you insight into why you are hitting a bump in the road. You may be surprised by hearing them out. If your child has a bad attitude towards you because you’re having a bad day, because words have been exchanged or there is tension, they’re going to have a hard time receiving what you’re trying to teach them.

Play Attune has FREE printables and Activities for social skills, emotional wellness, and play therapy:

Validate

It’s so important that we don’t ignore our child’s feelings. They are feeling the stress of the bad day too. Acknowledge and validate their tension and anxiety and know you are teaching them how to cope when things don’t go well.

Keep Going

Sometimes the best thing you can do is to keep persevering. Persevering on a bad day doesn’t mean gritting your teeth or yelling. Just cut back the lesson instead of completely stopping. Pull from other educational resources and mix it up to get the same result or concept mastered. But sometimes trying to force things and power through will lead to tears and less learning so you have to know when cut your losses.

Meditation

Try meditation or some kind of quiet calming yoga. Maybe everyone needs to just lay there with eyes closed and focus their thoughts elsewhere. If they fall asleep, great, maybe that’s what the problem was! These youtube hypnosis audios are great:

Drive

Go for a drive and put on an audiobook or maybe go look at a cool neighborhood or something you like to look at from the car.

Cook and/or Clean Together

A comedian once said something like “If you feel like you hate everyone, you need a snack. If you feel like everyone hates you, you need to go to bed.” How many times has this been true? So maybe go make a snack or go clean something together.

Bag the whole day

When the day is feeling like a big fail and the ship is sinking and you’re feeling like a captain that has failed, STOP and completely abandon ship and take the day off. Be willing to be silly and find something to laugh about. It’s hard to stay grumpy when you find something to laugh about together. It will restore your relationship. It’s ok to pick up school later. This is one of the wonderful freedoms that homeschooling has given us! Those horrible homeschool days can feel so big in our minds when we are in the middle of it but at the end of the day, the relationship we have with our children is way more important. Look at the big picture and how might that affect the way you handle your homeschool day going south? Sometimes we need to apologize to our kids. That may be hard for some parents, but we are human. We make mistakes and sometimes we lose our cool. I found when I am in the wrong and apologize to my kids, they are receptive to it. It doesn’t make everything better, but sometimes it can calm whatever chaos is going on. Learn how you could have handled the situation differently, prepare better next time and move on.

How do you teach an angry child? (16:03)

First of all, try to find out the reason behind your bad homeschool day. Evaluating the situation may help you to fix the problem. Look at your days and think of all the possible reason that might be triggering bad vibes:

Sick kid
Are they hungry?
Are they tired?
Are you grumpy?
Problem with a new homeschool schedule
Are you new to the homeschooling world? Are you trying to do too much?Are you trying to fill unrealistic expectations?
Do you have a stubborn child who is not cooperating?
Problem with time management

Obviously, talk with your doctor to rule out any special problems or possible issues that could be health caused if this is an ongoing issue. Sometimes a problem is going to be out of our control and require some intervention or treatment. Remember that is not a reflection on you and again rejoice in the fact that you are able to cater individualized care to your child.

And if this isn’t an extenuating circumstance, refer back to all those other ideas we just shared.We hope all your bad days are simply that- one bad day.

A great book is “Raising your spirited child” by Mary Kurcinka. Some kids are naturally more intense, perceptive, persistent and energetic.

When should you abandon ship? (20:55)

Anxiety and frustration bring anger, and as we all know, anger can make things even worse. Bad moods are totally contagious. We’ve already given you some ideas of what *to do*, but here are homeschooling mistakes *not to do*:

Excessive and Unrealistic Expectations
Don’t be a slave of over-scheduling or under-scheduling
Fretting over not having a properly organized homeschool room.
No recess time for the day.
Unfavorable homeschool curriculum
Doing it all alone.

How to survive big life changes? (23:37)

So sometimes, that bad day isn’t just one day. Maybe it’s stretching out a bit too long because of something out of your control. Again, take pause, take deep breaths and adjust.

Moving– Just like the airplane wants you to put your oxygen mask on first and then your child’s, do this with your move. Put schoolwork on hold, unpack your stuff, take breaks and spend some time exploring your new area with your kids, get everyone involved in the new room, new house process. This is all still learning even if it isn’t out of a book.

New baby- There are lots of ways to still get stuff done with a new addition, but again, be sure to take care of yourself and this new adjustment. It’s ok to let everyone watch a little too much tv for a while, or play games. Babies grow really fast- your life will be completely different in a couple months.

Death of a pet or loved one– You’ll want to proceed slowly with caution while still allowing everyone time to grieve and knowing that that isn’t always a linear process. Everyone grieves differently, too, it will take some time to figure out what every little person in your family needs, while also caring for yourself.

Getting Through Divorce- (26:20)

divorce while homeschooling — Divorce while homeschooling

This can be a huge transition for everyone. Hug your kids, remind them this isn’t about them, try to maintain a healthy co-parenting relationship and keep things as normal as possible.

It’s always ok to take a break! Don’t panic and think- oh, I can’t do this right now and homeschool, I’ll have to send everyone back to school. You *can* do this and now is not the time to throw even more life changes in there by panicking like that. In most cases, this is going to be a short bump in the road. But you are forever modeling resilience and patience and perseverance for your child through these trying times and that really is going to mean everything to them.

Links

A great book is “Raising your spirited child” by Mary Kurcinka. Some kids are naturally more intense, perceptive, persistent and energetic.

Play Attune has printables and Activities for social skills, emotional wellness, and play therapy: